Chapter 56.1: Morons in Marketing

What idiot decided that placing faux pipe bombs in several U.S. cities was a good idea? Placing fears of terrorism aside -- if you can -- how could anyone think this was a good idea? Is there no sense anymore? Was there anyone in that marketing department who spoke up and said, "You know, it's obvious to you and me in the office that these are fake, but place this blinky thing under a bridge in Boston, where it's cold and people aren't going to look too closely for the cartoon image, and we might have a problem. I mean, people are told to run away from bombs, not peek at them to determine whether it's related to a cable TV show."

I hope the next meeting for that marketing department is in a holding cell -- or better yet, prison. Fire the person who was responsible for this! Fire them all!

Chapter 56: A Short Story Writer

I just saw that Daniel Stern has died. I won't lie; I didn't know him. His was a name that I'd seen -- perhaps I've read a short story by him, but I'm not really sure. But in reading the obituary (and especially the final grafs), I find that I must pick up one of his collections. The characters sound intriguing and the wit behind the stories sounds inspiring. Or maybe it's just that the winter has turned cold and I want to be in motion.

Chapter 55.9: Cliff Notes

Cliff Floyd has gone home to play with the Chicago Cubs. I enjoyed his efforts with the Mets, particularly his strong season in 2005. It's too bad his injuries got in the way of him playing much (or well) this past season. Good luck to you, Cliff. And if the Mets don't win the World Series, I hope you help lead the Cubbies to their first championship since 1908.

Chapter 55.7: The State of the Senator

Boy, my first impression of Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.) is that he's a no-nonsense populist. I like that. He's got an impressive speech writer, too.

Webb included the gngoing need to assist the hurricane-ravaged Gulf Coast, which President Bush never referenced in this year's State of the Union. And talk about credentials for discussing the situation with the war! Webb's family history and pride in military service can never be disputed. From what I understand, during his senatorial campaign Webb often mentioned the Andrew Jackson quote about focusing on the state of the base rather than the state of the wealthy. And I appreciated the math on how it takes the average worker more than an entire year to earn what the high-paid corporate CEOs make in one day.

I don't know whether the Eisenhower and Teddy Roosevelt references were usual campaign pitches or not, but I thought they were quite impressive ways of saying "other Republican presidents have been able to lead the country. What's wrong with you, Mr. President?"

But my personal litmus test for the effectiveness of Sen. Webb's speech: My wife stopped and took notice. She's not political and cleaves to no party. For her to listen to what this man was saying means that other people will too. I didn't realize a response speech could be so impressive. I expect great things of him.

Chapter 55.4: Winter?

I awoke to find a sheen of snow on the ground -- the slick, annoying kind that would have pissed me off if it hadn't been the first significant snowfall of the winter. Luckily, it wasn't so bad that we skidded or were in any real danger. I just want it to be spring again.

Chapter 55.2: Catch the News Cycle

Sen. Barack Obama has announced he's created an exploratory committee about running for president. And in other places he's quoted as telling Iowa party leaders that he's definitely in. So what does unknown-outside-his-state Rep. Tom Tancredo decide to do? He's launching his exploratory committee too. Way to capture that news cycle!

I'm no C-SPAN geek who knows every representative and senator (I barely recall the name of my town's mayor), but if Congressman Tancredo is looking to get much attention and still have a viable candidacy by the end of 2007, he's going to need some help forming a message beyond his attitude against immigration and getting that message to the public. I don't know that this image on an unofficial blog will help him in New Jersey, for example. Perhaps he doesn't care since Jersey's been a pretty blue state the past few elections, but my first impression is he needs some work. Who was the last one-issue president elected?

Chapter 55: Happy New Year!

An absolutely incredible story popped up onto the New York Times while I was skimming headlines. The story is about two unrelated Missouri boys who were found after having been abducted 4 and a half years ago. Safe and sound, but silent at the news conference, one of the boys sat with his parents apparently looking very happy to be home.

There are so many questions that pop into mind that it would take a month to ask them all, and then more time to follow up the answers. I can only assume that there'll be a book to come out of this and then a movie, but the most important thing is that two families have their sons back.

I can only imagine the despair those parents must have lived through for all those years. Were they hopeless at times? They apparently created a foundation that works to help other families in similar circumstances. It's amazing how a random action can completely alter one's life plan. What will this do for those people? Will they redouble their efforts to help other families? Will they devote their their time now to their reunited family? It's for them to determine, and there will be no wrong answer. Good luck to both families and to all those who have suffered through years of unanswered questions.

Chapter 54.9: One Uninformed Person's View

I've never served in an armed service, nor have I studied anything significant about battle strategy or how armed conflict affects political realities. However, no moderately informed American is totally clueless about what the media and our elected officials of all stripes have been saying about what's going on over there.

Last night, President Bush officially announced his decision to increase the number of troops in Iraq by 21,500 -- mostly in Baghdad. And many people are criticizing the decision saying that it won't improve the situation. I wonder, however, whether it means that we need those additional troops just to stay put -- to not cede territory or strategic positions -- and that it reflects the realization that the American public wouldn't countenance a large-scale escalation of troops. My question is whether these are the right troops. As a taxpayer, I'd rather pay more for more-effective deployments -- perhaps better spies or infiltrators into the most dangerous insurgencies -- that will achieve our goals.

The president said that 2007 will be bloody, suggesting (at least to me) that it might be even bloodier than 2006 was. He's probably right. I just hope we're safer at home as a result. I don't know that we are.

Chapter 54.7: Here Comes the Sun

As I arrived at Hoboken station this morning, the Beatles' Here Comes the Sun began playing over the loudspeaker. Most days there is no music whatsoever on the platform, save the scant whispers coming out of other people's iPods as I pass them.

I don't know why the George Harrison song was in the air, but for the ninety seconds or so that it took me to get from one end of the platform to the PATH trains, I was pleased and amazed and happy.

Chapter 54.5: Quality Counts

A new report has me more concerned about the state of education in this country than I already was. I’ve always appreciated that I grew up in an educated, inquisitive family in an area that was also well-educated and populated with folks who had a similar educational foundation. In short, I grew up with a lot of smart people.

While I understand intellectually that not everyone is as fortunate as I am in this regard, the findings of Quality Counts 2007 are staggering. It’s bad enough that the state-by-state analysis shows that the luck of the draw can hamstring a child’s development (God forbid you grow up in the beautiful state of New Mexico, it seems to say), but what’s worse is that even some states that “excel” relative to the others don’t always post impressive numbers. The top state in middle-school math, for example, is Massachusetts, where less than half of students meet NAEP (National Assessment of Educational Progress) standards. In Washington, D.C., the figures are abysmal – less than 7 percent!

I fear the level of mathematics knowledge has dwindled to near innumeracy. Ask most kids the difference between the mean and the median and you might consider yourself lucky if they knew one of them meant "the average." The strong students are better educated; for the average ones, it seems to be a matter of where you live and whether you had a strong enough grammar school experience to create an academic foundation for the future. And with the state of public education in many areas of the country being so horrible, we're in danger of developing an enormous number of youth in this generation who don't know how to think through problems far more challenging than what a statistical midpoint is called.

I’m not afraid for the smart students, the kids on the far end of the bell curve. I’m afraid for those in the middle. They are by definition the majority of students, and if we can’t educate them better, then the consequences for the future are harrowing.

Who or what is to blame? Is the curriculum too hard? I doubt it –- life is only getting more complicated as we strive to create more convenience for ourselves. Are teachers worse? Perhaps, but they’re also products of our education system -– it’s a chicken/egg argument that isn’t feeding anyone’s imagination to solve the problem. Public policy? State initiatives? Federal initiatives? Yes to all, but it’s still not enough. The thing that galls me most is there are a lot of smart people trying to solve this problem, and no one has an answer that doesn’t involve leaving a lot of children and young adults educationally destitute. I’m open to suggestions. Personally, I’m going to learn how to tutor someone and start there.

Chapter 54.2: The World Changes (Mundane)

I messed up the world this morning. Things changed, and I had a hand in it. I walked up the wrong side of the street and noticed signs I'd never read. People were dancing and prancing, doing exercises; I'd never seen that gym from the sidewalk before. A man delivering Arizona Iced Tea on a dolly dropped cases of glass that crashed and splashed on the concrete. "Fuck!" he screamed. (On the streets of New York, go figure!)

Maybe 15 seconds later a little girl defied her father, complaining that her brother -- who was a step or two ahead of them both -- got away with too much. "But Sarah?" her father said. I walked on; this is a domestic case. I went into the deli and ordered oatmeal instead of the egg sandwich. Better for the cholesterol levels, I decided.

"Oatmeal?" the cashier asked?

"Yes."

"Anything on it?"

"No."

"Dollar fifty."

I spilled some oatmeal when I opened the container. And the oatmeal was bland and mucky. I poured two sugars into it to give it some flavor. I should have gotten raisens at the deli, but I was too cheap. Some things never change.

Chapter 54.15: Year of the Dolphin

Apparently 2007 has been designated the year of the dolphin by the UN Convention on Migratory Species. Though the football team in Miami hasn't been able to capitalize on this yet, I hope lives of our finny friends from the deep improve this year and throughout the future. Mackerel for everyone!

Chapter 54.1: Out With the Old

Coming into work this morning, I was surprised at how many Christmas trees I saw ditched onto the sidewalk already. Even more surprising, however, was how dry and decrepit many looked. They were almost denuded of needles. What do people use on their trees, agent orange?