Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Chapter 79: Anticipating the End of the World

I'm glad that when the Large Hadron Collider is turned on, I should be snoozing away. That way, I'll be right where I need to be when the world comes to an end.

There are some folks who believe that this apparatus, where photons are sent zipping around a 17-mile track, could create black holes. The fear is that that such a creation could blink out all existence on the planet — indeed, the planet itself, Poof! Gone. Interesting little bit of irony: the act of creation leads to the end of existence. I'd like my irony with a nice single malt on the side, please.

While making black holes would essentially prove Stephen Hawking's theory on the subject, the destruction of life as we know it wouldn't help him receive the Nobel Prize he'd deserve. Thankfully, Hawking doesn't expect the world to end tomorrow. I have more faith in his forecast on this issue than the other whack jobs who are predicting death and destruction. Given the proximity of a different anniversary, I could deal without the major loss of life, thank you.

But if I don't hear from anyone after 3:30 EDT tomorrow morning, I call shotgun in the sportscar to oblivion.

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