Chapter 66.2: Closing Out the Summer

The tiki torch fuel is nearly spent. The charcoal bag awaits a few more shakes over the barbecue. And I think I'll probably purchase at least one more six pack of Sam Adams Light, which has become my summer beer of choice. Alas, Labor Day weekend is upon us.

Though the skies above are overcast and small drops have fallen upon the pages of a book I'm reading for an upcoming review, I fear no washout. For the gods of forecasting have peered into the future and predicted a beautiful weekend. I look forward to a couple pleasant jogs, an obligatory mowing of the lawn, and assorted other tasks, but most of all I plan to relax.

Relaxation does not come easily to me. I tend to write lists of things I need to do -- lists that cannot be completed within the span of a long weekend much less a 24-hour day. And my vacations (when I take them) invariably are spent at home tackling honey-dos and working on my novel. Indeed, I intend to do exactly that in late September or early October, depending on when I take my allotted week. By then, it will be fall, and I'll be anticipating the winter. When should I shut off the outside faucets? I'll get to the gutters today. Jeez, do the trees conspire to drop these damn leaves over the span of five weeks?

So rather than worry about the fall and winter, I'm going to enjoy this weekend. Perhaps we'll catch one of the many crappy movies that are out right now (I hate when the popcorn is more memorable than the film!) Or simply enjoy the time off. God knows, we deserve it too!

Chapter 66.1: Welcome, Mudslide McBride!

Today has been a good day. Sometime this morning, my niece was born. Her parents, fine upstanding people of Irish descent, have named her Bailey. While I don't know whether it's a refernce to the chocolate cream drink -- the key ingredient in a mudslide (frozen or otherwise), I'm thinking it could be. So, I have taken to calling this young girl, who I've not yet met in the flesh, "Mudslide" McBride. I predict she'll be a high school soccer star, unafraid to slide-tackle a wing on the run, and smart enough to succeed in whatever she chooses to do.

Welcome to the world, little girl. Uncle Matt raises his glass to you. And he's been calling you Mudslide McBride since the day you were born!

Chapter 66: Blondes Have More Jobs

I think this is pretty funny and scary at the same time. Since I'm one of the few people left that still watches local news, I hadn't really noticed this national trend. But to get a perspective on the overwhelming abundance of blonde newscasters -- men and women.

This gentleman has always preferred brunettes, as most of my ex-girlfriends and my wife can attest. Plus, I don't watch the news to find out which station can most arouse me. (Full disclaimer: I'm not related to Victoria Sinclair of the Naked News, at least not as far as I'm aware; I do have relatives in Canada.) But, check out the link and enjoy Slate's slightly tongue-in-plastic-surgery-enhanced-cheek assessment of our national newsreaders.

Chapter 65.9: Death of a Huckleberry

As a Met fan, I was never a huge follower of Phil Rizzuto. I knew him at first as the incredibly annoying and unhelpful announcer for the hated Yankees -- he worked with Frank Messer and Bill White back in the late 70s, when my love of baseball hit full bloom. And I knew his voice from Meatloaf's song, Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. (Remember when it was almost rare to hear that song?!)

But I grew to appreciate that he loved his team -- a team that had offered him a chance when all the others had told him he was too small. Rizzuto repaid their confidence (or was it just a joke at first? 'Let's see what this pip-squeak can do. It might be funny') with his natural abilities -- speed and fielding prowess -- and became an important part of the Yankee dynasty of the 1940s and early '50s, winning the Most Valuable Player Award in 1950, when they defeated the Whiz Kid Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series. I would never like the Yankees, and I wouldn't be a Rizzuto fan, but I could respect him and his loyalty.

I delivered medicines to his mother when I had a job for a local pharmacy in high school, and I wondered if I'd ever see him there. Never happened. But I briefly met Rizzuto once. It's more accurate to say I nodded in his direction and he nodded back. I was attending a wake for a friend's mother about 20 years ago. And Phil Rizzuto was standing at the front of the chairs in the funeral parlor. My friends in line with me whispered "Hey, it's Phil Rizzuto," and I heard the man ask who all these guys were. We were fraternity brothers of his grand-nephew. "Oh, the boys from Lafayette," I heard him say. That's when I nodded, and he nodded back.

Not exactly a moment of greatness or epiphany, but it happened.

So, I'll say a little prayer that God has enough room in his field for the little guy who lived in New Jersey for all those years and told stories about baseball and cannolis and called the guys in the broadcast booth and down on the field "Huckleberries."

Chapter 65.8: Your Spacesuit Or Mine?

I'm a bit of a "spaceophile" and I wish I could explore space. Well, these new space suits should make exploration a lot easier. And it makes space exploration look better too, for when astronauts are shown on television. This is one way to make NASA popular again, though they've still got a fair amount of work ahead of them to regain some level of respect from the American people.

Chapter 65.7: Finally, Some Sense and (Perhaps) Honesty

I know a lot of Democrats (and probably a lot of Republicans) don't want to hear it, but anyone with a whit of sense would see that we have to have a significant presence in Iraq for the forseeable future. Not because of oil, but because we have a moral imperative. I completely agree that President Bush and Vice President Cheney led us into the wrong place at the wrong time, but we're there now and we will have to be there for years hence.

Apparently the major Democratic candidates for president are starting to acknowledge that too, though I hesitate to say they're just realizing it. I think they -- and certainly Sen. Clinton -- have known it for quite a while. Iraq cannot sustain itself if we were to leave. "That's their problem," I hear people say. But, no, it's not. It's ours too. While some Americans seem to wish we could go back to being a 19th century agrarian society in which we could afford to be xenophobic and isolated from other people's problems, that's simply not possible. And though at this point a majority of Americans say the war is going poorly and we should pull our troops out of harm's way, it's simply a bad plan.

Allowing Iraq to struggle for itself makes as much sense as allowing Germany or Japan to fend for itself after World War II. At that point, the concern was Soviet Russia and probably China too (I'm not a student of history, so I don't know if China was jonesing to jump into Japan). We had global concerns then, and we have similar concerns now.

Anyway, back to the 2008 presidential race: The three major Democratic candidates (Clinton, Sen. Obama, and former Sen. Edwards) would all keep some contingent of forces there. Gov. Bill Richardson says "Get out now," but, if memory serves, this is the man who allowed Los Alamos's secrets to walk out the door as Sec. of Energy and then somehow got elected governor of New Mexico. Sen. Biden, the future Sec. of Defense (only because Delaware's governor is a Democrat), says split the country three ways.

Quite clearly, a lot remains to be seen, but I'm just happy to see that the people who might become president recognize that even though the war is unpopular and divisive -- and politically devastating (hello, one-term presidencies!) keeping our troops there is what we have to do until Iraq is stable. We never should have invaded in the first place, but we're stuck in the sand till further notice

Chapter 65.6: Parasolar Power

I saw something today I’ve not seen for ... well, I’m not sure I know how long it's been, exactly. But a woman was walking up Fifth Avenue carrying a parasol. For those who didn’t grow up watching Bugs Bunny cartoons or enjoying films depicting the late 19th century and early 20th century, parasols are like umbrellas but designed to block the sun. (The word literally means "for the sun" in Spanish.)

A co-worker uses what looks like a golf umbrella that’s designed to reflect sunlight away from the umbrella and cool the person beneath. Considering the climate change concerns that are so often in the news these days, I suspect we'll see a lot more of these items. I doubt guys will start cruising for chicks by walking down the sidewalk to tip their bowlers at the pairs of women carrying their parasols as they head to the marketplace, like they did long before my parents were born, but I predict pedestrians of the not-so-distant future will look different than they do today. Different accessories, for example. Perhaps Apple can create an "iPodasol" that would allow users to listen to their favorite songs while exercising and keeping out of the sun. They should design it so solar power can keep the device charged throughout the day.

Chapter 65.4: Google.org Study and Where Our Goodwill Goes

There's an interesting report that all Americans should check out. The Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University, which is one of the best known groups of researchers on the American nonprofit sector, has released results of a study of where Americans give their money. These are the people who process the data in the annual Giving USA study, which presents the estimated amount of charitable giving by U.S. citizens, based on tax filings and statistical modeling.

(I have my own misgivings about the Giving USA estimates, which can turn out to be highly inaccurate. This past June the latest estimate was released, with the number reaching $295 billion in U.S. giving. Since the previous reported estimate had been $250 billion, this seemed quite a large jump. But the previous year's estimate had been revised in the fall -- to $289 billion. There are justifiable reasons, but it's still quite frustrating if you try to use these numbers, which are -- for better or worse -- the best that we have.)

Anyway, back to the point. Out of that $250 billion estimate that was reported for 2005, the amount that directly went to help the needy was only $19 billion. Any grammar school math student can see that it's not even 10 percent, which is deplorable. It's important to note that word "directly," however. The biggest chunk of money given by Americans goes to religious causes; that's been true for the half century or so that this study has been conducted. While a lot of that money goes to run various religious efforts (read: pay for salaries, pay for insurance, pay for phones and facility maintenance), a lot also funds programs and services designed to help the needy. Depending on how the Salvation Army is categorized, for example (I believe it's religion, but I'm not sure; it might depend on how the gift appears in the tax data), a few billion might be directly helping to feed and house the poor. And there are several thousands of organizations that might also fall into those types of descriptions that need to be looked at. Frankly, I find it hard to believe the amount of charity that goes to the most in need is less than 25 percent. It's sobering, nonetheless.

Of course, I'm glad people support the arts, and education, and the environment -- I do, too -- but I will start rethinking my charitable giving a bit now as a result of this study.

According to researcher Melissa Brown of the Center on Philanthropy, who posted on the Google.org Blog about the study she worked on, this is a first step.

As someone who takes a professional interest in the American nonprofit sector, I'm glad to see this important work is being done. And I look forward to seeing them to more to work through this data. I think the Center is an appropriate place for it, but I also agree with Patrick Rooney, the research VP, who called the data "much squishier than we prefer."

Ok, flabberdata, it's time to Pump ... you ... Up. Let's take a look at how we can help our fellow man in need. There but for the grace of God....

Chapter 65.300: Way to Go Tommy G.

Congratulations to Tom Glavine for his 300th career regular season victory. While he's the fourth pitcher who wore a Mets uniform to accomplish the feat (Spahn, Seaver, Ryan, Glavine), he's the first to do it in a Mets uniform. As a lifelong Mets fan, I'm pretty pleased and happy for him. I wish him all the best. He'll go into the Hall of Fame as a Brave, but he's been a good Met.

Chapter 64.5: Hard Day at the Office

I know a lot of people enjoy watching The Office, but I just can't get into it. Sure, it's funny to watch the jokes people play on each other, but I find it impossible to believe that such a group of people could exist. If they did, why should I care? I couldn't picture a boss like Michael Scott actually keeping his job (though the episode in which we learn that his salary is minuscule would help support why he doesn't get fired). I cringe whenever he does almost anything. The only characters with any redeeming qualities seem to be Jim and Pam, and I can tolerate some of Dwight's insane traits because Rainn Wilson is brilliant (loved him in Six Feet Under). But call me crazy, I wouldn't have stayed in that job more than a week.