Thursday, March 08, 2007

Chapter 58.1: Dice-K and Other Baseball Questions


As I shiver to generate a little warmth in my body, I'm thinking about how this baseball season might evolve. Will the Mets pitching staff show its old age, or will it demonstrate the revitalizing power of youth? In other words, is this the year either or both Tom Glavine and El Duque fall on their baseball-old butts, or will young pitchers like Mike Pelfrey or Philip Humber or even John Maine or Oliver Perez light a fire under everyone's ass and lead the team to the division title once again?

Will headline writers start calling Japanese import Diasuke Matsuzaka "Dice Clay" instead of "Dice K" -- meaning, will he have legs of clay that can't stand up to the rigors of major league baseball. My prediction: he'll start the season 7-2 or 8-1 and make the All-Star team -- possibly even start it -- but in the second half, hitters will figure him out and he'll struggle.

Will there be love in Pittsburgh? Isn't it time for the baseball gods to be kind to this decrepit franchise? This city supports the Penguins because they keep trying, but that club might end up in Las Vegas. If the Pirates can put together an early winning streak, the city might get over the changes in its financial leadership (as Mellon Bank merges with the Bank of New York) and pay attention to a team that could surprise people.

How long will Lou Piniella last? I think he's got a season and a half -- tops! Assuming that they don't make the playoffs this year after spending oodles of cash for stars like Alfonso Soriano, Piniella will get a month or two into next season -- the official century mark since the team's last World Series victory -- before he'll be summarily bounced. Good luck, Lou. Chicago's a wonderful city, and you'd make a pretty strong Hall of Fame candidate if you could win your second championship as a manager there.

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