Chapter 61.5: Lo Blow

Someone has finally noticed that Lindsey Lohan is underage! The moronic 20-year-old brat/actress, who has spent time in rehab, supposedly for alcohol abuse (though it seems to have been more about rehabbing her image), was arrested by police and charged with driving under the influence.

The fact that she was caught doesn't surprise me, but why has she been allowed to drink in clubs at all? It's not as though people didn't know she was underage. She's been a television and movie actress for years now and her famous mug has been plastered in magazines along with "teen star" next to her name.

The problem in some of these situations -- and I don't know if this is the case with Lohan -- is that the clubs actually pay these kids to attend the clubs. It's a job, essentially. And the fine the club receives for having the underage dolts in the crowd might be less expensive than advertising. And why don't these morons hire a driver if they're going to drink? It's not as though they can't afford it. I suspect it's to show that they're independent and worldly; instead they come across as irresponsible fools.

I've worked as a bartender and have dealt with annoying parents who seem to think that they should be allowed to decide whether their underage child should be allowed to drink. I stopped serving them and accepted their verbal abuse when they left. I needed the job, and I wasn't willing to let some idiots threaten it; if you want to let your kid drink, do it at home.

But bars that want to tout that celebrities use their place as their personal barstool should suffer the consequences, as should the self-centered children who think they're above the law. I've heard it all before, and probably said it when I was their age. "It's not like I can't find another place to get a drink." You're probably right, but that's not the point. These idiots are risking their own livelihood: the celebrity, the bar owner, the bartender, the door man, the occasional cop who lets the cute drunk girl get away with a warning. It's their fault -- all of them. Lock 'em up.